Filed under: Etc., GM, HUMMER, Motorcycles
HUMMER H2 450 scooter makes our head hurt
click above to enlarge
The Hummer brand is all about strength and capability, but for some reason the smaller and less capable the Hummer, the better it sells. Talented motorcycle sketch artist Oberdan Bezzi must have had this in mind when he penned the Hummer H2 450 scooter, because the mini-cycle would likely fit in the pickup bed of the upcoming H3T. Bezzi borrowed several Hummer design queues for his moped, including the Hummer gas cap, chunky sheet metal, and we're guessing the seven bar grille. In this instance, the 2 in H2 stands for the amount of wheels and the 450 stands for Bezzi's imaginary 450 cc powerplant.
While we love Bezzi's imaginitive drawings, we're afraid his Hummer-branded scooter made some of our neurons misfire. We don't care how knobby the tires are, scooters and mud just don't mix. Hummer doesn't make scooters for the same reason we don't see Harley Davidson-branded roller skates. Jeep did make the Compass, but we digress. We'd change that opinion, however, if Governor Schwarzenegger drove the two-wheeler to all of his public speaking engagements.
[Source: Scooter Design via Jalopnik]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
NYChic 11:12AM (1/30/2008)
They finally came out with a product that is truly representative of all the personalities of the people who drive those pointless H2 & H3's.
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Koko 11:13AM (1/30/2008)
At least build a quad or dirtbike. A scooter...that truly is a laughable.
Level 11:20AM (1/30/2008)
"They finally came out with a product that is truly representative of all the personalities of the people who drive those pointless H2 & H3's."
I drive one and whats my personality like?
btw I take it you drive a VW beetle? right? right.......and I know what type of personality that is..............
rav3 2:03PM (1/30/2008)
I think he means people with "compensation" issues. And yes, that's what EVERYBODY thinks when they look at you.
Enjoy your Hummer.
M 5:10PM (1/30/2008)
I guess some of you think it's alright to be so judgemental, then. I've never met one Hummer driver that has met that stereotype, honestly none of you really have neither.
VW-Guy 11:17AM (1/30/2008)
"...for some reason the smaller and less capable the Hummer, the better it sells..."
Priceless! Thanks for the laugh.
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MemphisNET 11:18AM (1/30/2008)
""Hummer doesn't make scooters for the same reason we don't see Harley Davidson-branded roller skates. Jeep did make the Compass, but we digress.""
The poor Compass, you bastards lol.
The Scooter... umm... interesting? Now a quad-bike would be cool.
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bob cobb 11:18AM (1/30/2008)
needs more lens flare
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Level 11:19AM (1/30/2008)
"They finally came out with a product that is truly representative of all the personalities of the people who drive those pointless H2 & H3's."
I drive one and whats my personality like?
btw I take it you drive a VW beetle? right? right.......and I know what type of personality that is..............
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NYChic 11:26AM (1/30/2008)
Hummers are overcompensation for phallic deficiencies.
Farris 11:26AM (1/30/2008)
Dude, what's wrong with driving a Beetle? Just because I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to drive what is perceived to be a "chick's car..."
...oops. I got kinda OT.
Back on point:
"We don't care how knobby the tires are, scooters and mud just don't mix."
Scooters and mud can mix! Haven't you ever ridden an old CT90? That was practically a scooter (it did have a step through frame!), and it goes like stink through mud and muck!
Torqued 10:56PM (1/30/2008)
I suppose we can't be sure of your personality from the truck you drive, but your comments sufficiently re-enforce my prejudice.
Dolemite 11:42AM (1/30/2008)
"Hummers are overcompensation for phallic deficiencies."
Please, do explain what you are basing that statement on...
I am sure you must have a PhD in Psychology and years or peer-reviewed and published research going along with it.
Can't wait to read it.
Or maybe you're just a douche.
Level 11:47AM (1/30/2008)
"Hummers are overcompensation for phallic deficiencies."
I take it, it has been a bad month for you on the men dept? or your ex-bf with a Hummer prob cheated on you? It's ok theres plenty of other guys with Hummers that won't cheat on you, mainly me :) I'll treat you right ;)
you wont need your pocket thingy anymore
q56 11:31AM (1/30/2008)
it look very similar to the honda big ruckus
http://www.motorcyclistonline.com/newsandupdates/2005_honda_street_models/photo_03.html
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hydrogen_wv 11:49AM (1/30/2008)
When they make a 450hp quad-bike, I'll be on board.... I'm not impressed with a 450cc scooter.
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My Broken down Caddilac 11:53AM (1/30/2008)
At least this Hummer doesn't run the risk of getting keyed or have its tires slashed by some pissed off greenie. My neighbors brand new H3 is at Maaco getting the drivers side of the car re-painted after some punk kid engraved his own phalic "d***less" artwork on it.
I guess that's the price of owning a Hummer.
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Tagg 12:10PM (1/30/2008)
It looks like a Power Wheels toy of some sort. I understand the branding idea like Jeep bicycles and Porsche bicycles but they don't try to resemble the products they are branded from!
Maybe Porsche should build a bike with some bug eye reflectors and and a carbon fiber wing on the back.
And enough with the penis comments. They shouldn't let kids use the internet while on recess, stick to the swing set.
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Chopper Dave 12:12PM (1/30/2008)
"....because the mini-cycle would likely fit in the pickup bed of the upcoming H3T."
Since you can't even get a mountain bike into the bed of an H2 SUT, what makes you think a scooter is going to fit into an H3T?
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Tom 12:12PM (1/30/2008)
pff...Get a Rokon
http://www.rokon.com/products/index.htm
Nothing else can touch it off road.
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