The funniest ad for a 1996 Volvo 850R you'll ever read
A guy in Washington had a 1996 Volvo 850R he wanted to sell on Craigslist. To make sure that he got noticed, he invoked the aid of Benjamin Franklin, a video game, a large Montana ranch and the Blue Angels -- just for starters -- to do it.
Anyone who's sold a high-mileage car that's been taken well care of and will run until the Apocalypse should appreciate the ad. You'll also appreciate his efforts to keep people from calling and saying, "Hmm. The miles seem high." Not only does he mention the fact that it has 218,000 miles nine times in the ad, but just to make sure, he writes, "If you don't know that Volvos go to like half a million miles without maintenance than your personal savior must be modern medicine and your ignorance would have been the death of you in the middle ages. DO not call if this is you."
But the car is still so fast it will "smoke the doors off of e30 m3's in econ mode." On top of all that, it's a bit of a chick magnet. This isn't cited as the reason for sale, but the seller got "sick and tired of getting hit on by milfs in their sexual prime because they think I'm some suave interwebs mogul as I am rearranging my golf clubs to fit more groceries in the massive trunk." Click the link to get the rest of the story on the Volvo born from space shuttles. Really.
Thanks for the tip, Mike!
[Source: Culture Garage]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
David W. 7:16PM (1/04/2008)
"The marvelous Swedes designed this car, supposedly Volvos are born from space shuttles, which make them a little bit better than their retarded cousin the Saab (which was only born from jets :rolleyes: )"
hahahahaha that listing is pure genius!!!
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cheezedog 7:17PM (1/04/2008)
So did he sell the car?
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Cameron 7:35PM (1/04/2008)
"Although the miles seem high there is very little wrong, the work has been done by a DSM driver of who’s dsm still runs, which speaks volumes more than some silly ASE certification."
Brilliant!!
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greg 7:45PM (1/04/2008)
my brother in law has a 93 Toyota corolla with 230,000 and has no intent on getting rid of it
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Mr. Blake 7:52PM (1/04/2008)
Wanna cookie?
Dang, I hate Toyota.
Jason 7:58PM (1/04/2008)
I have a 93 "winter beater" Civic with 210K that burns no oil, manual trans grinds ZERO gears, everything still works, and it still gets 41 mpgs on my highway commute to work and I would STILL rock the balls off that Volvo.
Who cares.
Joe K. 8:08PM (1/04/2008)
And i have a 1994 Aerostar w/ electronic AWD with 218k on it... big whup wanna fight about it....
Moneyman 8:22PM (1/04/2008)
My dad still has his 99' Windstar with 330,000 miles on it that still runs (If it doesnt scare me the breaks are iffy but he is to cheap to fix them
and his 95 concord with 230,000 miles.
and my grandma has a 99 accord with 190,000 miles in it
Kevin 3:00PM (1/05/2008)
Greg:
"A 1966 Volvo 1800S owned by Irvin Gordon of East Patchogue, New York, USA has the Guinness world record for highest mileage in the same vehicle he has been driving for more than 40 years. It had covered in excess of 3,572,342 km (2,219,751 miles) by March 2004, and passed the 4,000,000 kilometers (km) (2,485,484 mile) mark in September 2006."
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Volvo_P1800
"The 240D is renowned for often traveling several hundred thousand kilometers or more in its life. The record holder, a W115 240D acknowledged by Daimler-Benz and on display in their Stuttgart museum, clocked 4.6 million kilometers between 1976 to 2004, mostly working as a taxi based in Thessaloniki."
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_240D
I've got a customer at work with a '62 190SL that's got over 800,000 miles on it, without having ever had the engine apart except for valve adjustments...
So... regarding your brother-in-law's Toyota: Who cares? Come back when he hits >500k miles without opening up the engine or transmission.
Aki 7:50PM (1/04/2008)
love the :rolleyes: haha
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Will 8:05PM (1/04/2008)
"I would not recommend buying this vehicle for ghostriding purposes."
HAAAhahahahahaha.
He must have seen this...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SlTvSUCCqPo
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thefultonhow 3:05AM (1/05/2008)
Wow, that video has achieved intarwebs fame. And I know Nate.
MachinaDC5 8:57PM (1/04/2008)
"the work has been done by a DSM driver of who’s dsm still runs, which speaks volumes more than some silly ASE certification."
There's some strange truth to this statement.
"he turbo 5cyl (wtf sweedes!??)"
This cracked me up!
Best ad for a used car ever. This guy deserves a brand new Volvo with another turbo I5.
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volvfan88 9:52PM (1/04/2008)
Volvo is light years ahead of Saab. Saab is a company that is deeply suffering, props to Volvo Personvagnar AB and AB Volvo. Props to Saab Ab also still a good Swedish car, but still also very lame ...................
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Sandeep 11:45PM (1/04/2008)
...and your screenname screams of unbiased opinion
Volvo has taken a pretty big hit since it's been a part of PAG. It seems like Ford simply doesn't want to put money into Volvo's new designs (find me a positive review of the S80 by mainstream media. Seriously, try finding one)
Saab isn't much better in terms of R&D as of late, but it's more than a little stretch to claim "Volvo is light years ahead of Saab"
CentralParkWest99 12:16AM (1/05/2008)
I owned a 1996 850 GLT turbo. Lemme tell you something for those who have never driven one, these cars are sych sleepers. The are quick to begin with, and after cranking the boost up with a silly home depot line and a boost guage, that volvo spun tires all 3 gears. It was sick! then I blew the turbo for abusing it(I was 19 ok !). Then that was the end of that.
Case in point a great used car to buy for cheap fun.
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Sue Esponte 3:28PM (1/05/2008)
No such thing as a "GLT Turbo".
In '96, there was a base car, a GLT, a Turbo, an R and some kind of Limited Edition Turbo option. The GLT shared the same non-turbocharged 168hp 2.4 liter engine as the base car. In '97, they upgraded the GLT with an LPT (low pressure turbo) that boosted hp to 190hp (I remember because my parents had one - a '97 that is).
zoldfulu 6:41AM (1/05/2008)
Its really a good thing that my S40 is not made of Jets, but a Ford Focus II...
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AlfaMike 11:02AM (1/05/2008)
Very funny ad. Thanks for pointing it out. This guy deserves a buyer.
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Frogwhistle 12:30PM (1/05/2008)
"...that Volvos go to like half a million miles without maintenance..."
The bulk (if not all) of those ballyhooed high-mileage Volvos are of the old under-stressed, normally-aspirated variety. Forced induction considerably alters the equation.
I suspect this guy is selling because there are some very expensive repairs looming on the near horizon.
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