eBay Find of the Day: "Bentley Java" Monte Carlo not-really-a-replica
The 1994 Bentley Concept Java (right) was shown in coupe and convertible forms, and it clearly showcases a design language that is in use today on the current Arnage series. eBay, as you're well aware, is riddled with dreck to go along with some of the exotic and interesting cars that cross its virtual auction block. The "Bentley Java Replica" shown above lands in the "dreck" category with a resounding thud. Based (very obviously) on a late-model Chevy Monte Carlo, this particular abomination comes with a delightfully (if unintentionally) amusing item description, which you can read after the jump along with some additional commentary.Thanks for the tip, Brent!
[Source: eBay]
"$19,900 for the best Replica Ever!! ~ Bentley Java Rolls Royce. Have the $250,000.00 look for only $19,900.00. We built this Replica in 2007 on this 2003 Monte Carlo. The "Sultan of Brunei" bought the real one! And for all you RR Lovers, relax, this vehicle turns Heads all the time, for under $20,000.00 you can have the Millionaire look."
We'll bet that in addition to turning heads, it turns stomachs, too! Seriously, if the seller told us he were trying to build a replica of a Chinese car, we'd actually applaud him for accuracy. But no. Instead, a mere 20 Gs scores you a used '03 Monte with 51,000 on the odo; a couple of Bentley badges; the full J.C. Whitney-look body kit and taillamp covers; and a horrific tumor on its hood. Man, what a steal. (For the seller, that is.) Oh, don't forget the embroidered "winged B" on the seats, either. That'll totally trick people into thinking it's a roadgoing British concept coupe and not some heinously-kitted beater/pretender with no resemblance to the car it supposedly replicates. We can't decide what the best part is -- the fake, misshapen grille mounted to the tumoriffic bonnet, or the fact that the original Monte Carlo badge was simply popped off, leaving the mounting holes behind. The "Millionaire look?" Words fail us. This thing looks like a Bentley in much the same way a Jeep Grand Cherokee looks like a Delahaye 135.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
DS 7:13PM (1/02/2008)
Wow.
That's sad...
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James 8:41PM (1/02/2008)
Especially when its a knock off of something this beautiful:
http://www.sybarites.org/2006/11/21/bentley-java-concept/
Moneyman 7:26PM (1/02/2008)
well then
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Luis 7:28PM (1/02/2008)
Seriously, is there nothing else to blog about? This thing's an atrocity!
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Mercury Fan Forever 7:33PM (1/02/2008)
Whoever pays $19,900 for that needs to be admitted to a mental hospital I know that sounds mean but come on $19,900 for an 03 Monte Carlo with 51,000 Miles is just senseless.
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dskinner 7:45PM (1/02/2008)
"And for all you RR Lovers, relax, this vehicle turns Heads all the time, for under $20,000.00 you can have the Millionaire look."
So much insightful wisdom in this statement!
Seriously, where do these people come from?
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accord745 7:49PM (1/02/2008)
it looks like bidding has ended for this freak of automobiledom, and the final bid of $4K was well short of the reserve price.
i pity the owner for having to keep this thing in his driveway for a little longer.
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mr.ed 9:36AM (1/03/2008)
The ugly gets even more ugly. Hard to believe,but true.
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Jake 8:07PM (1/02/2008)
I pity the mental capacity of someone who would even bid on such an automobile.
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Preston 8:16PM (1/02/2008)
PLEASE, did anyone read the middle section of that eBay auction?
"Home of the World's Longest & Most Exotic Limousines! ~ We Build ~ We Rent ~ We Sell ~ We Finance ~ We Trade ~ We Consult ~ Motivational Speaker ~ Bling Specialist ~
When you have time, click the 12 minute tribute to Limo Bob made by his son LBJ (Limo Bob Jr.) & then get the popcorn out and sit back and enjoy the 1 hour flick. Don't forget to watch the MTV Birthday Party for LBJ (Limo Bob Jr. ~ Bobby, MTV's Newest Star as seen on 11/5/07), just aired this last monday, go to MTV.COM and see it on Supersweet 16 (The 3rd Link).
See Limo Bob's new Reality TV Show (5 Min. Promo) Coming 2008!"
Go, watch the videos....feel better about yourself, and worse about the world.
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Brent 9:00PM (1/02/2008)
Sorry guys. I just had to send this in.
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Sleighboy 9:00PM (1/02/2008)
Do the seat pockets come fully stocked with barf bags? That is my question..
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Rob 9:05PM (1/02/2008)
Is this the new Knight Rider?
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nate_687 10:34PM (1/02/2008)
lol I found this a while back on ebay, my first thought was how sad trying to do that with a Monte Carlo was, then my second thought was how terribly ugly it looked. How can anyone even consider that slightly close at all to the orignal.
Yeah that car turns heads, its turns them away in disgust.
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meshies 10:40PM (1/02/2008)
I feel like breaking something.
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LaughingTooHard 11:27PM (1/02/2008)
OK so let's try and be constructive eh fellas?
First, um maybe the um "Creator" should have used some of that wicked white masking tape to give the front lights the proper shape of headlights look of the Java Concept.
Now to the hood, since they got discount on Bondo and Fiberglas filler, square off the end of the hood and fenders. Get rid of those unsightly curves. Then extend the Grill work down into the Air Dam. You've already destroyed the car, might as well hack up all that plastic while you are at it!
Then to the rear, um well, er...maybe TRY and make the tails look like the Java. Have masking tape and spray paint will travel! If the "Creator" is feeling wicked with a hammer and blow torch, go to work on the trunk too. Drop it down from the Big Booty Monte look to the Svelte Tapered look of the Java.
Finally rip off those fixed monster side mirrors and get a nice set of Civic Faux Carbon Fiber GT-R mirror. Slap on 2-3 pounds of Bondo, weld them in place and viola!
The interior obviously needs lots of wood grain so go to Home Depot and get the nice contact paper, lay it on all that plastic trim and them cover in a thick layer of Resin to give it the Sultan Effect.
Upgrade those wheels to something nice and heavy from China and make them Dubs! Spray then Silver if need be or go DuplaColor MetalCast Chrome!
Bolt on some low pressure custom turbos and you are on the money for wicked torque.
THEN put that baby on eBay and DOUBLE the asking price to $40K.
Someone please shoot me if they do all that OK?
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BowserUSC 6:46AM (1/03/2008)
You're an idiot. And not funny at all.
LaughingTooHard 8:14AM (1/03/2008)
I'll take that with a grain of salt from a person or child that still thinks Bowser from the Mario Bros. video games is so entertaining that they would use the "Bowser" name and image to represent them on the Internet.
More than likely it is your Monte on eBay and then I am actually sorry.
AMcA 12:19AM (1/03/2008)
Thanks for reminding me of the Java.
One of the most beautiful, desirable cars ever.
And then they had to go and build that lump of a Continental GT.
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BOB 1:23AM (1/03/2008)
YOU CAN PUT SEQUINS ON A FLAT CHESTED GIRL AND TATTOO "DOLLY PARTON" ON HER FOREHEAD,TOO, LOL. _______Anything they could do to that Toyota-wannabe Monte that GM disgraced itself with is an improvement.
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