Ahhh, the joys of owning a Hummer. Who knew that being hard to park, terribly expensive to operate and subject to all sorts of excess taxes would be selling points? They are in Japan, where there's a whole guilt culture building up around owning a Hummer.

So, he says sarcastically, let's turn our attention back to things that make sense: celebrities. We've got Colbert, Leno and UC Davis for ya. And if you think that last one's out of place, you haven't met Dr. Andy Frank.