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Here's a test of your unyielding devotion to all that is cloaked in green. First, let's set the scene. It's the wee hours of the morning, the wind-driven rain is still howling against your house, and you're huddled on the second floor, waiting for morning. You've spent most of the night trying to stanch the flow of water into the basement, and those hours of backbreaking labor with sandbags and utility pumps have left you dog tired, devoid of fight. The power is out, and all you've got is a safety candle and an AM radio, and you're just waiting for the incoming tide to lap off the joists beneath you. With all due respect to Gordon Lightfoot and the crew of the Edmund Fitzgerald; the gales of November came early.

Among the general chaos outside, you hear the steady rhythm of an engine. Small blocks always make music, but this time the tune is particularly joyous. At once, you're on your feet, peering out the window. The thrum of 8 cylinders working hard gets ever louder as the vehicle draws near. Could it be rescuers? The National Guard? Looters? All of a sudden, you're blinded by a wash of light as a bank of KC Highlighters gets trained upon your house. You recoil, your eyes taking a moment to adjust to all the candlepower. Who is it?

[Source: Advertising Age]

It's your salvation, and he's driving a bright yellow HUMMER H2. While this storm is likely a manifestation of impending global climate doom and the H2 is about as morally repugnant to you as making kitten pie, for the moment, you couldn't be happier to see one. HUMMER itself is the first to admit that their brand isn't for everyone. Brand manager Megan Stooke aims to recast the machoest of GM trucks as four-wheeled saviors the world over. For sure, the demonization of the blocky SUVs has been rather extreme, especially when you consider that HUMMERs are little different from the rest of GM's trucks. Stooke wants to show how they can be a force for good, too.

A new advertising campaign called "HUMMER Heroes" demonstrating how owners and rescue personnel rely on HUMMER vehicles to help others will launch soon. GM's going to go live with a microsite where owners can send in stories and pictures detailing how they came to someone's aid with their machine. GM has donated 19 HUMMER vehicles to Red Cross chapters since 2004, and they're set to continue with that effort, ultimately delivering 72 vehicles to the organization. While the H2 initially sold on the strength of its style, there is real off-road prowess under there, as well. Serious off-roaders and disaster-response units have seen that while Hummers make big, lumbering replacements for station wagons, they're great when you've got to fight a wild fire. As one owner commented to GM, "Nobody asked me what kind of fuel economy I was getting" while he delivered water to Hurricane Katrina victims.

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    • 1 Second Ago
      • 7 Years Ago
      i wouldnt care if they were driving a 77 Germlin, so long as they're coming to help.
      • 7 Years Ago
      Ok, yeah, but drive your high-mileage vehicle when you're not being superperson. In fact, might wanna get an all-electric soon, 'cause in 10 to 30 years (or less), oil is gonna be much more difficult & expensive to get out of the ground, and gasoline is gonna be out of reach for the average driver. It's purty much gonna be all-electric, fuel cell, all that...
      • 7 Years Ago
      Hummer H3 Alpha (V8) - 4,854 lbs
      (the I5 weighs in at 4700)

      Land Rover LR2 - (Ford Escape Clone) - 4,250lbs
      Ford Explorer - 4,830 lbs

      I could keep going, but it would be waste of my time and resources...

        • 7 Years Ago
        Escape certainly has absolutely nothing to do with the Contour
        • 7 Years Ago
        Escape = Ford Contour
        • 7 Years Ago
        LR2 has nothing to do with the Escape. The LR2 is based on the EUCD platform which underpins the S/V/40/50 Volvos, as well as the new S80, the new XC70, the 2nd-gen C70, the Mazda 3, and the upcoming Volvo XC60

        IIRC, the Escape is related to the Mazda-6 based cars.
      • 7 Years Ago
      The h2 was notorious for having weak tie-ends and being a terrible offroad car. I'm not sure if they fixed it, but making an uglier, heavier version of a Tahoe doesn't suit the car to become the official "vehicle of saviors and heros."

      What a load of crap. I hate these cars with a bleeding passion.

      I would think a heavy duty 4 door pickup would be a better rescue vehicle anyway.

      Way to capitalize on the fears of the paranoid by framing the Hummer as the car of choice for the impending armageddon..... ugh.
      • 7 Years Ago
      Here's the lowdown as I currently see it. The H2's and 3's are junk.
      I have yet to see one of these bastardized Generic Motors Yukon
      wannabes in my neighborhood doing anything useful other than
      being a chrome and accessory laden piece of junk. The only real
      Hummer is the H1 and I believe that model is still produced and quite
      possibly the best off-road vehicle ever made.

      GM is evil. Not only have they scammed the public more times than I can count. A couple examples off the top of my head are,
      1. In the late 70's Oldsmobile buyers were horrified to find out that their new olds suddenly had piece of junk chevy engine in place of the once very smooth and powerful olds engine. For the kids who are to young to know, GM came about from buying up other brands of cars that also came with their own quality engines and design. This diversity served Gross Motors well until they began their downfall and needed money.
      2. They grossed up Oldsmobile once again when they started their diesel engine program. Instead of designing a real diesel engine (~20-1 compression ratio) they scammed people again by converting gas engines that were designed for ~8-1 commpression. When they blew up a couple years later guess who paid form new engines due to them being out of warranty? REAL diesel enigines last for a few hundred thousand
      miles NOT 30 or 40 thou.
      3. Their early 80's caddillac seville with the 8-6-4 engines turned out to be junk too that was not reconized till out of warranty. You don't need to guess who footed the bill for that fiasco. Your 20,000 cattle-car that was worth about 5,000 three years later and that was after you footed the bill for a new engine.
      4. But the all time worst thing they did to this country was buy up all
      the streetcar lines in the fifties just to tear up all the track to
      make a market for their buses. What a horrible thing to do! This
      country had a beautiful infrastructure of clean efficient public
      transportation that would cost billions today to replace. Gone! FOREVER! Just to be replaced with bloated smoke belching behemouths
      that needed constant maintenance unlike the clean comfortable efficient
      stone-reliable streetcars

      As far as the Red cross is concerned, and I'm sure other Veterans can
      confirm or add similar horror stories. This happened during the Korean conflict after a very intensive battle in
      the bitter cold of winter. My father was rotated to the rear for some
      R&R and and was so grateful to see a RC vehicle serving coffee
      but disappointed to find out he didn't have THE NICKEL on him
      that they were CHARGING and had do continue on to the field
      base and be satisfied with a cup of hot water the broke guys were making.

      That is the reason the RC will NEVER get a nickel from me!!

      Therefore not only are GM and the RC similarly evil but they also deserve each other.

      • 7 Years Ago
      To the people talking crap about gas in emergency situations, (Yes, you wrussi), what makes you think that a Red Cross Hummer, or indeed any emergency vehicle, is waiting in line for gas?
      And when the weather gets bad, good luck fording water, or driving over tree trunks (things I have done many times in my Frontier) in a car.
      Bottom line, they don't say that an H2 makes you an emergency vehicle, and if that is what you are getting out of it, you are stupid, plain and simple. A 4-wheel drive with decent ground clearance just gives you more options.
      • 7 Years Ago
      Whenever I see a white guy driving a hummer, all I can think is "tiny penis".
      • 7 Years Ago
      yeah and we complaint about gas shortage as long as people keep buying those big slow piece of craps gas companies keep rising gas prices
      • 7 Years Ago
      This is almost as bad as Land Rover doing the exact same thing first.
      • 7 Years Ago
      Believe it or not, the Hummer gets better gas mileage than what I currently drive, which I have needed to haul materials as we build our own house. My husband is seriously thinking of trading for it.

      Maybe some people should check stats before waxing on about something they know nothing about.
      • 7 Years Ago
      I think we should all buy 40-bedroom, steel and concrete bunkers to live in, just in case all our friends and relatives might someday need to evacuate their homes. The utilities might be a little expensive on a daily basis, but hey, that's a small price.

      I also think it would be a great idea to buy a firetruck, just in case. It's really quite practical: very safe for driving downtown to work every day, and the mileage is actually better than you'd expect. Plus, it looks way cool, and those ladders can really come in handy.

      I just don't understand these people who think that there might be a more practical solution to the remote possibility of catastrophic disaster. What a bunch of needle-necked pencil pushers!

      • 7 Years Ago
      My 1964 Dodge 3/4 ton Power Wagon w/413 big block can do anything a military Hum-Vee can and twice as much as the civilian Hummer, with twice the gas milage(sic). And it looks alot better.
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