• Jun 2nd 2007 at 2:28PM
  • 28

It is well known that the inimitable Jeremy Clarkson has a way with words. Especially when they're uncomplimentary. In fact, as a measure of how much his wit can hurt, when Clarkson actually does give a compliment, a carmaker might simply be happier about not getting roasted than about getting a good review.

The London Times has posted a dozen delicious lines from various Clarkson reviews for those who need a gleeful laugh to round out their Saturday. You don't even need to be told who wrote them, because who couldn't identify the scribe in question from the scent of just this one line: "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends' houses so they don't see its backside." (BMW 645 Ci, #11).

One of the great things about Clarkson is that he doesn't spare any carmaker his thoughts on everything. The Ferrari 599 (#12) and Maserati Quattroporte (#1) take their lumps alongside Kia (#3) and Perodua (#5). One of our favorites: "I'm choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." (#2) As always with Clarkson, it's well worth more than just one read.

Thanks for the tip, Tom!

[Source: London Times]

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    • 1 Second Ago
      • 8 Years Ago
      Who's Jeremy Clarkson?
      far jr
      • 8 Years Ago
      The man has his opinions and biases just like every other individual here. He just has a bigger audience.
      • 8 Years Ago
      Thats one of the funniest articles I've read in a long time lol.

      Top Gear Rox. Even if they do hate American cars. Its still a good show.
      • 8 Years Ago
      Taxi for Wan Ker
      • 8 Years Ago
      I still shake my head in wonder that none of us americans discuss the truly embarrassing moment in the show where clarkson asks why the richest country in the world simply cannon fix the damage Katrina wrought. I wonder quite frequently if all this talk of the epitaphs on cars is just a smoke screen to avoid the truly pitiful way our federal government and even red-cross responded to the issue. I also wonder if that scene was deliberately included to lighten up the episode. Man, what if they hadn't included that clip... then we'd all just be discussing how insane it is that we can't get our shit together and fix things down there. Third world countries prepare better for problems like Katrina then we do.

      Oh well, keep turning a blind eye to the devastation that still exists today everyone! That's what makes America a great place, common petty squabbles about spray paint and not a hoot about the utter incompetence spotlighted by the still ravenged streets in Louisiana.
      • 8 Years Ago
      Jeremy is positively a man who knows how to properly mince his words.
      • 8 Years Ago
      They missed the best quote from the 599 review-
      "I loathe the way that under the bonnet they’ve fitted a sort of Formula One nose cone over the radiators. This implies that customers will raise the bonnet to show the engine off to friends. And that’s like taking your penis out at a party. It’s a terrible thing to do."-Jeremy Clarkson
      • 8 Years Ago
      As a non-American, l too cringed at some of the things they did and said in the show that was done in the States.

      It reminded me of the Borat movie.

      However l think it is best that sensitivities are put aside and take it as nothing more than entertainment for the main audience which is in the UK and the british commonwealth.

      Dubai Mick
      • 8 Years Ago
      I am italian and YES: I am really fond of Jeremy Clarkson MITICO style.
      • 8 Years Ago
      Top Gear is more boring than Motor Trend TV. I didn't even know that was possible.

      I've watched the show. Even went into it with an open mind. I still found it boring. OK, so it didn't help the ruined two of my former dream cars (Countach, F40) by pointing out their flaws - something I can't fault TG on.

      I guess it's kinda like The Office. I've seen it. I just don't get the appeal. I'll stick to The Power Block on Spike for my auto shows. Well, as long as I can find something that's not a repeat.
      • 8 Years Ago
      The London Times?? I think you mean "The Times". It's one of the UK's best selling newspapers (broadsheet) so it's a bit annoying when (American I presume) reporters get it wrong...
      • 8 Years Ago
      @HotRodNKustoms: On the contrary, if you wrote "Fuck the queen", you wouldn't get run out. Actually you would probably get a lot of support. The British public doesn't seem to have the blind patriotism that an average American has.
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