More proof of Jeremy Clarkson's literary genius
It is well known that the inimitable Jeremy Clarkson has a way with words. Especially when they're uncomplimentary. In fact, as a measure of how much his wit can hurt, when Clarkson actually does give a compliment, a carmaker might simply be happier about not getting roasted than about getting a good review.
The London Times has posted a dozen delicious lines from various Clarkson reviews for those who need a gleeful laugh to round out their Saturday. You don't even need to be told who wrote them, because who couldn't identify the scribe in question from the scent of just this one line: "If you were to buy a 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends' houses so they don't see its backside." (BMW 645 Ci, #11).
One of the great things about Clarkson is that he doesn't spare any carmaker his thoughts on everything. The Ferrari 599 (#12) and Maserati Quattroporte (#1) take their lumps alongside Kia (#3) and Perodua (#5). One of our favorites: "I'm choosing the words for my conclusion with even more care than usual. So here goes. The 1-series is crap." (#2) As always with Clarkson, it's well worth more than just one read.
Thanks for the tip, Tom!
[Source: London Times]
Get a WordPress.com Blog
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
F451 2:39PM (6/02/2007)
Jeremy is positively a man who knows how to properly mince his words.
Reply
Jit 2:43PM (6/02/2007)
Spot on in almost every category.
Reply
Bevo 4:18PM (6/02/2007)
Gold.
Reply
Josh 4:30PM (6/02/2007)
I haven't watched a Top Gear episode since they made complete asses of themselves in their visit to the US episode. :(
Funny thing is that it didn't really bother me all that much, except for the fact that they were acting worse than they would expect a group of Americans to act in their own country.
Reply
HotRodzNKustoms 4:44PM (6/02/2007)
I agree, I haven't watched Top Gear since that episode. Top Gear has lost that sparkle that made me need to watch it like a crack addict needs to do crack, but I still read Clarkson's reviews online, because for the most part I agree with him, not so much with the SRX4 which I rented for a month and liked it alot. But Top Gear is now just a couple dudes growing biodiesel and making asses of themselves saying that Americans are rubish even though they were poking and prodding those deep southerners pretty hard. If I went to London driving a Rover with a sign down that side saying "F*** The Queen" I think I would get run out of town fairly quickly
John B 5:01PM (6/02/2007)
I'm with Josh. The episode in the US turned me off. Churchill's speech should have read; "We shall go on to the end, (As long as America's military resources, technical prowess and armed forces allow) we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,..."
Reply
Nelson 5:40PM (6/02/2007)
They missed the best quote from the 599 review-
"I loathe the way that under the bonnet they’ve fitted a sort of Formula One nose cone over the radiators. This implies that customers will raise the bonnet to show the engine off to friends. And that’s like taking your penis out at a party. It’s a terrible thing to do."-Jeremy Clarkson
Reply
ruggels 5:46PM (6/02/2007)
I've kept up with topgear since the american episode, mainly because i'm a firm believe in accepting criticism, dealing with it's impetus, and moving on to a better place.
That said, topgear is going to definitely loose me if I don't see more track runs and more comparisons between cars, you simply can't fill entire episodes with crazy stunts and contests between the three of them, a big part of what made topgear so damn good was the track with stig and their comparions between cars.
Reply
Cam 5:54PM (6/02/2007)
Clarkson's a fantastic guy especially if you read any of his books, criticises everything in and out of the UK.
He has admitted that the current series that they have shown after Hammond's crash was a rush job to get it out for the Spring time viewing over here in the UK and that they are taking more time over the series that they are currently filming
Reply
LivinginUK 6:20PM (6/02/2007)
@HotRodNKustoms: On the contrary, if you wrote "Fuck the queen", you wouldn't get run out. Actually you would probably get a lot of support. The British public doesn't seem to have the blind patriotism that an average American has.
Reply
Josh 7:44PM (6/02/2007)
"On the contrary, if you wrote "Fuck the queen", you wouldn't get run out. Actually you would probably get a lot of support. The British public doesn't seem to have the blind patriotism that an average American has."
I have zero blind patriotism. But I do have common courtesy. And when you are in a country that is not your own, I've been taught that you simply do not act in that manner. For that matter, don't act like that anywhere. Maybe they teach you differently in the UK.
I don't like Howard Stern, either. I expected better out of Top Gear.
Peter 6:26PM (6/02/2007)
The London Times?? I think you mean "The Times". It's one of the UK's best selling newspapers (broadsheet) so it's a bit annoying when (American I presume) reporters get it wrong...
Reply
pd 6:28PM (6/02/2007)
Clarkson is the Howard Stern of auto scribes. Says a bunch of bullshit just to cause controversy.
Reply
JamesWB 7:04PM (6/02/2007)
The guy is a wanker.
Reply
Deezee 7:05PM (6/02/2007)
Thats one of the funniest articles I've read in a long time lol.
Top Gear Rox. Even if they do hate American cars. Its still a good show.
Reply
frankzappa22 9:47PM (6/02/2007)
It's awesome that JC doesn't let objectivity get in the way of voicings his narrow and one dimensional opinions. If he did, we wouldn't have such witty gripes and pet hates to all drool over.
That's journaltainment at it's best.
Also, he has a freakishly big head and whines like a little baby just to get attention. But I guess some people like that kind of guy.
chris 10:37PM (6/02/2007)
If you drove around London with "Fuck the Queen" on the side of a car you'd be criticised for the "fuck", not "fuck the queen". The rudest thing that was on those cars in the episode was "NASCAR sucks" from what I remember, which would only make insecure NASCAR fans upset. Driving around public streets with the word "fuck" on the side of a car however is simply rude, regardless of in what context it is used.
guido 10:44PM (6/02/2007)
Never liked that him and usually disagree with his "comments".
Reply
far jr 9:39PM (6/02/2007)
The man has his opinions and biases just like every other individual here. He just has a bigger audience.
Reply
paul34 10:58PM (6/02/2007)
Indeed. I don't see how they made "fun" of us in an inappropriate manner... they just prodded things we knew about Floridan and deep south rednecks anyway. It was hilarious!
I still have no idea why so many US fans were offended. I've lived here my entire life and I was just laughing because it was all so true LOL.