Ford has opened itself up to a lot of ridicule lately, not the least of which is for its decision to resurrect the recently deceased Taurus name for the 2008 model year. Never ones to let their arch enemy off the hook, the GM fanboy community over at Cheers and Gears has produced these "mock" press materials regaling the return of the original Taurus' intoxicating allure. We can only imagine its authors trying to complete the project while doubled over on the floor laughing, which was our initial reaction when we first saw it. We have to give them credit, however, for getting all the details right, including the peek-a-boo Ford emblem, two-tone paint job, cornering light and those wheels, oh those wheels. The accompanying fake press release is not to be missed; you can find it after the jump.

[Source: Cheers and Gears]

PRESS RELEASE:

FORD STRENGTHENS RETRO-80s LEADERSHIP WITH INTRODUCTION OF NEW 2008 TAURUS HERITAGE EDITION

* New edition features more than 5 engineering changes, making it more retro, cheezier, mellower and homlier.
* 2.5-liter High Swirl Combustion I-4 delivers an estimated 90 horsepower and 130 ft-lbs of torque.
* Ford Sync™ (not sink) offers new levels of connection, control, simplicity and personalization with the well known relability of Microsoft
* Taurus Heritage Edition will reach showrooms this fall.

CHICAGO, Feb. 7, 2007 - Ford Motor Company today announced it is bringing back the well-known Ford Taurus name, introducing a new special version – Heritage Edition – for its aging hipsters to go on sale this fall.

"Taurus has been an icon for rental sedans for more than two decades, and it's time to return this powerful name to where it belongs," said Mark Fields, Ford's President of The Americas, at the Chicago Auto Show. "Consumer awareness of the Taurus name is double the Five Hundred that it's replacing, and thats damn good enough for us to forget the latter altogether!.

"By giving these vehicles the bland looks of the 80's that consumers recognize at the same time we're making significant upgrades, we're confident that even more rental companies are going to be attracted to these great products in the future," Fields added.

The 2008-model Taurus Heritage Edition sedan will go on sale this fall, as an upgrade to the earth shattering ALL NEW Ford Taurus. The new Heritage Edition features a fully flush grille guard with peek-a-boo Ford emblem, a new dual color scheme, a new cornering light, more standard safety features – including dual airbags tuned to explode with that classic pop that made people file lawsuits in the early nineties– and other refinements to make it more retro, cheezier, mellower and homlier.


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