Meet the 2008 Ford Taurus Heritage Edition
Ford has opened itself up to a lot of ridicule lately, not the least of which is for its decision to resurrect the recently deceased Taurus name for the 2008 model year. Never ones to let their arch enemy off the hook, the GM fanboy community over at Cheers and Gears has produced these "mock" press materials regaling the return of the original Taurus' intoxicating allure. We can only imagine its authors trying to complete the project while doubled over on the floor laughing, which was our initial reaction when we first saw it. We have to give them credit, however, for getting all the details right, including the peek-a-boo Ford emblem, two-tone paint job, cornering light and those wheels, oh those wheels. The accompanying fake press release is not to be missed; you can find it after the jump.
[Source: Cheers and Gears]
PRESS RELEASE:
FORD STRENGTHENS RETRO-80s LEADERSHIP WITH INTRODUCTION OF NEW 2008 TAURUS HERITAGE EDITION
* New edition features more than 5 engineering changes, making it more retro, cheezier, mellower and homlier.
* 2.5-liter High Swirl Combustion I-4 delivers an estimated 90 horsepower and 130 ft-lbs of torque.
* Ford Sync™ (not sink) offers new levels of connection, control, simplicity and personalization with the well known relability of Microsoft
* Taurus Heritage Edition will reach showrooms this fall.
CHICAGO, Feb. 7, 2007 - Ford Motor Company today announced it is bringing back the well-known Ford Taurus name, introducing a new special version – Heritage Edition – for its aging hipsters to go on sale this fall.
"Taurus has been an icon for rental sedans for more than two decades, and it's time to return this powerful name to where it belongs," said Mark Fields, Ford's President of The Americas, at the Chicago Auto Show. "Consumer awareness of the Taurus name is double the Five Hundred that it's replacing, and thats damn good enough for us to forget the latter altogether!.
"By giving these vehicles the bland looks of the 80's that consumers recognize at the same time we're making significant upgrades, we're confident that even more rental companies are going to be attracted to these great products in the future," Fields added.
The 2008-model Taurus Heritage Edition sedan will go on sale this fall, as an upgrade to the earth shattering ALL NEW Ford Taurus. The new Heritage Edition features a fully flush grille guard with peek-a-boo Ford emblem, a new dual color scheme, a new cornering light, more standard safety features – including dual airbags tuned to explode with that classic pop that made people file lawsuits in the early nineties– and other refinements to make it more retro, cheezier, mellower and homlier.
_opt_thumbnail.jpg)
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 5)
NoNameDenton 8:32PM (2/14/2007)
Hahaha, I am rolling over laughing you GM lovers (not) The Blue Oval may have its problem but it is my favorite brand or the domestic Big 3 for the trucks, and if bringing back the Taurus name revives sales then so be it, I have seen polls that have shown many people enjoy the name change
Reply
jjm3 8:34PM (2/14/2007)
ROFL ... Lord help me - I don't think it looks that bad!
Reply
NoNameDenton 8:41PM (2/14/2007)
Amazingly enough, number 2 is right, it really does not look too bad
Reply
Big jim 8:44PM (2/14/2007)
Ha,Ha,Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Cheezie, Homiler, mellowier. and Hipster. Thats to funny. i blew a gasket when i read this. Ha Ha Ha HHHAAA
Reply
Chris 8:48PM (2/14/2007)
Surely you can't be serious.....
Reply
JAG 8:55PM (2/14/2007)
How to commit suicide: Launch a wimpy campaign slogan:
Bold Moves, anti aspirational.
And bring back a name that does not inspire a bit on the contrary I hear that bane and I run from it.
Good job
PS. what about changing the Mustang for the Pinto?
Reply
tony 9:09PM (2/14/2007)
this article is just bad ... is there so much hatred of the resurrection of the taurus name that this article is made? man get a life .. try to get some more news worthy articles ... remember that the vehicle you are trying to ruin is an american branded car and you are still in america .. its bad enough that u guys say almost always negative abt the big 2.5 specially ford and you have to make it worse with this article ..this is beyond insult ... this is just ridiculous ... fabricating stories ... i am of asian origin and i laugh out loud you americans how much you make fun of american products .. sure japanese cars are better than american cars but domestic are getting better every year and they are producing a lot of exciting vehicles lately and yet you dont see those improvements ..i think this blog should have a motto .. "Here at autoblog where we only criticize harshly american cars"
Reply
Rene Curry 9:12PM (2/14/2007)
Above bigjim says he blew a gasket, he must mean a Tauras V6 head gasket :') ha ha ha
Reply
P 9:18PM (2/14/2007)
This is the sadest thing I've seen in all my life. Looks like a bad redo of the original. Simply depressing.
Reply
Gort 9:18PM (2/14/2007)
Yeah, this pegs it. It is not too bad looking, though, lol... if they tweaked the grille, it would not be any worse than the "new" Focus.
Hey, I read on one of the websites(either detnews or theautochannel) a week or 2 ago, that foreign vehicle sales were at record highs in USA, 49.4%, and are expected to go Over 50% within 60 days, maning Big3 will suddenly become "Little 3"!
Talsk are abound of Chrysler being sold off.
Ford brings us more drivel, every day(why wait for the Mondeo until 2010? Now is as good as ever. At least GM is bringing Opels over NOW, not 2010-2012, trying to garner more sales).
Reply
Mike G 9:25PM (2/14/2007)
Why doesn't it say how much one will cost? And does anyone else think it's odd that this engine is less powerful than the old model? This article doesn't really make any sense. Stupid Ford.
Reply
Z man 9:26PM (2/14/2007)
LMAO...seriously....Good job whoever did this. Ford certainly deserves this.
Reply
Jeff Crew 9:30PM (2/14/2007)
Outstanding!
Reply
Chet 9:39PM (2/14/2007)
GM fans ridiculing Ford for recognizing and correcting a bad marketing decision? That's sad.
Ford is ahead of GM on this one. They realize that it's a mistake to abandon a name. And the significant improvements to the product show that they also realize the mistake of squandering a good name with unimproved product.
GM has yet to learn these lessons. Their continuing name games proves this. Using the same kind of alphabet soup that the premium German marques use does not magically make you a premium German marque. And jettisoning a familiar name like Grand Prix basically admits that, not only was your product crap, but it was such malodorous crap that you couldn't fix it. Besides, the stink applies to a whole brand, not just a particular model name. IMHO, fix the brand image by fixing the model image, not by hoping people forget it. Ford gets this.
Making fun of Ford for bringing back the Taurus name? Ridiculing styling that, looking back, influenced the entire industry for more than a decade, and adorned the car that saved Ford and made "domestic sedan" something you didn't have to apologize for? So not getting it.
Reply
Rob 9:45PM (2/14/2007)
Are you kidding me? That thing is ugly. Why not bring the Mondeo to the US. What do they think the American market is looking for? Horrible.
Reply
Aprime 9:49PM (2/14/2007)
I'm amused by the fact that some fools think this is true.
Check the picture (obvious editing) and read the article, damn it.
Reply
RSS 10:05PM (2/14/2007)
Looks decent!
Reply
Poe 10:18PM (2/14/2007)
I don't understand the hate. When the Taurus was first released, it was way ahead of the competition in every way (including styling). Think about what the Camry and Accord looked like in 1986! Imagine the shock of going from the boxy Fairmont to the sculpted futuristic-looking (at the time) Taurus. It was a quantum leap! The Taurus was the best-selling car in the country from 1992 thru 1996 as a result. It's just too bad Ford let it die on the vine while focusing all of their resources on stinkin' SUVs and trucks - while Toyota & Honda continued to refine the Camry & Accord. Now they're paying the price. We owned a '93 Taurus. Now we own an '07 Camry.
The GM fans unfortunately have no reason to gloat. They certainly haven't produced a car nearly as successful in the past couple of decades. What do they have now? The Impala? Pfft...
Reply
Mike 10:19PM (2/14/2007)
Thanks for making my day! Way too funny! Seriously though... this would sell...
Reply
Bob in Cobb 10:32PM (2/14/2007)
Well they brought back the Zephyr, why not reach back for a really good quality name and re-name the 500 the Model A. Now that was really quality! I drove one to high school.
Reply