How to tell if you're an idiot
There are a lot of idiots out there. Go ahead and take a leisurely stroll during rush hour and count how many times you mutter 'stupid' or 'moron' and even 'jerk'. You'll probably get more than a few tallies. Amazingly, some people think we, the enthusiasts, can be idiots. 22 inch rims on a Focus or one of those giant gull-wings on a Neon is pretty crazy.
Mark Vaughn over at AutoWeek compiled a list of reasons an auto-maniac can be considered an idiot. Some of the questions, like whether or not your car has fog lights, seem a little harsh (both my cars have them). Others, however, are spot-on. If you're wearing any driving-specific apparel outside of sunglasses, like special gloves or shoes, then you may be an idiot. Other items, like knowing way too much about obscure vehicles, is a little to damning for pretty much everybody on Autoblog. Click here to answer the "Am I an idiot?" test. Better yet, come up with even better examples. We know you can dream up with an even better list.
[Source: AutoWeek]
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Edsel 10:54AM (2/01/2007)
I'm an idiot if I take the "How to tell if you're an idiot" test.
I'm an idiot.
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Zensuine 7:23AM (2/06/2007)
11. If you think Mike Vaughn/Autoweek isn't a company of like-minded idiots....you're an idoit.
Suq mi rite nutsaq, Mike
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felipe 11:07AM (2/01/2007)
that is a pretty poorly put together test, looks like the writter just had nothing else to write about today.
-and I bet you $10. his car has fogs lights.
-I bet you $20. Mark is an idiot.
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gkz 11:27AM (2/01/2007)
well, their list blew...
some other suggestions:
- if your civic has a surfboard-sized rear wing superglued to the back
- if your focus has a coffee can welded onto the tailpipe
- if your lacrosse has 22's
- if you put blue tape across your headlight covers to try to trick people into thinking you have xenon's
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epp_b 12:02PM (2/01/2007)
How about those idiots who wrap their block heater cords around their wing mirror? Man, that's disgusting.
[/Canadian]
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Ken 2:30PM (2/02/2007)
So using my factory equipped fog lights in the fog makes me an idiot? I suppose using my headlights at night isn't so bright either.
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Dodge 1:19PM (2/01/2007)
Even moreso than the wings that are huge, wings installed backwards, thats automatic idiot status for life.
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Accordsforall 12:05PM (2/01/2007)
Hmmm
Ya drive a H2 in the middle of the summer where no snow is around. Ya drive an SUV to the mall cause ya need a vehicle that can tow an entire amount of groceries from WALMART and a full trip of bags from the GUCCI store.
Ya drive around on ya cell phone in a domestic SUV 20 miles under the limit, in the wrong lane, in a vehicle ya cant see over the wheel, with ya lights off with 1 kid in the back.. with the word HEMI superglued on ya tailgate.
My personal favorite.. ya are an idiot if ya dump a Accord, Camry, Fusion for 1000bux off a 07 Chrysler Sebring. Or ya such an incompetant driver that ya need AWD / 4wd to drive around a major metropolis.. when snow tires are the clear winner for ANY vehicle.
And.. the top reason.. that makes ya an idiot...
GM and or Ford has a "red tag sale" / all out rebate BONANZA sale in the middle of summer and everyone rushes to get one. And wonders why their resale value in 3yrs is worse than the price of a Kia in 5. And or the GM execs who actually put this sale on and believe it brings value to the brand. When in fact.. if a sale isnt on.. THEIR DAMN VEHICLES DONT MOVE
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Avinash machado 12:17PM (2/01/2007)
If you avoid buying a domestic merely because of percieved reliability problems or because of media opinions.
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DriftPunch 3:19PM (2/01/2007)
- You have a Nav system, yet have never once driven somewhere outside of your normal driving routes. But hey, at least you get to tell others you have a Nav system. (You rule!)
- You have told someone with a GM vehicle that has 150,000 flawless miles on the odo, that they are "worthless pieces of shit". Extra points if you tell it to them while riding in said vehicle.
- You state that you will only buy BMW for egalitarian reasons, yet you live in an apartment.
- You shit all over trucks & SUVS, yet cannot control your boner over any add on that eeks more power out of a formerly fuel efficient car.
- You are an hypocrite! You critique the work and passionate creation of others with a resounding "Why would you bother doing X or Y to car Z!" Yet, you expect praise for adding faux carbon fiber trim to your '92 Accords dash.
- You post under the name of 'paul' on Autoblog.
- You demand that your automatic transmissions selector lever be located where a manual shifter would be because you 'want to shift', but typically touch it 3 times during your journey. Park to reverse, reverse to drive, drive to park...
- You believe increased noise = increased performance
- You bang your manly chest at the thought of driving 'unsafe' small cars, yet drool over the thought of riding your bike at every opportunity.
I could go on...
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Nick 1:34PM (2/01/2007)
I can think of two right now:
1.you are a freaking idiot if you driving 15mph under speed limit on the fast lane. Oh God, I hate those jerks!
2.You are an idiot if you driving an enormous SUV with high beam turn on and tailgating other cars.
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Oliver 12:36PM (2/01/2007)
I'm an idiot for reading this.
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sr20de 2:03PM (2/01/2007)
Idiots are people who drive European cars with the "3rd brake light" fog light turned on when it's clear and dry out because they don't know better. I was behind an A6 the other day and it hurt my eyes! They need to deactivate those or mandate all cars have them because they are useful.
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Seven 2:38PM (2/01/2007)
You are an idiot if you drive a Chevy truck that has been converted to look like Cadillac escalade (minus the whole SUV thing), including ill fitting escalade tailights, and grafted on (probably stolen)Escalade front end, giant CADILLAC lettering across the back, and a Cadillac grill emblem from an Escalade glued onto your tailgate. Tack on a cheezy blue paint job, and the idiocy is complete.
Sadly, I saw this yesterday.
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8189720 1:20PM (2/01/2007)
I think Mark had too much time oh his hands and too few ideas to write about in his head.
Read Mark's article if you're an idiot...
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sammy 2:41PM (2/01/2007)
I agree with Avinash machado's post #7.
...and post #8 too.
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Eric 3:52PM (2/01/2007)
You're an idiot for buying any car that rhymes with "Shmundai" "Shmia" or "Shmuzuki" because "It's almost as nice as a (insert european brand here) but costs 10k less"
Of course the whale tales, coffee can mufflers, and flamboyent exterior modifications to 100hp import car demand automatic idiot status.
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LegacyB442 10:52PM (2/01/2007)
The list of idiots and the things they do are endless. Well I'm off to work, where I'll spend most of the day being:
cut off, tailgated, my lane invaded by mini van/suv mamas on their phones, people raceing from stop to stop, slow lane drivers in the fast lane( old Saturns and Buicks), people who think stop signs are optional as well as red lights and turn signals, someone speeding up to cut me off as I enter the highway and then slowing down to 51 mph after I file in behind them, the Vin Diesel crowd with the great idea to put a $1000 system into his $1500 blue book, mid 90's import and $1000 rims as well as a wing that is bigger then that on an F-40!
I'm sure I missed some, but this is a short list and I am an IDIOT TOO!
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Doug R 2:44PM (2/01/2007)
Ah, the illustrious wisdom of Accordsforall.
You're an idiot of you don't understand that being able to make one trip instead of 12 actually saves gas (and time, and congestion) and that if you make twice the trips (or more) in an accord that gets twice the mileage, you have saved NOTHING!
You're an idiot if you don't understand that 4WD is superior in bad weather.
You're an idiot if you don't understand that even if it's once or twice a year, getting home safely in dangerous road conditons with family in tow is more important than mileage.
You're an idiot if you have such an infatuated hatred for SUVs that you come up with stupid crap like this.
You're an idiot if you think American brands aren't as good as the rice burner you drive just because the company has better overall gas mileage and you get a fuzzy warm feeling from that.
YA an idiot if YA think it's cool to say YA everytime YA need to write the word YOU (incase you didn't know how to spell it).
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Dicky 11:36AM (2/02/2007)
If you have "truck nuts," "bulls balls" or any other kind of scrotum hanging from your rear bumper...you are an idiot!
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