• Dec 9, 2006


News of the Saturn Ion's ignominious demise have been met with cheers in the street, as it was truly the brand's last embarassing model. Though most of us eagerly await the arrival of the Saturn Astra from Opel, there is one person in the galaxy who still holds the dear departed Ion close to his heart... Tek Jansen of Alpha Squad 7! If you're not familiar with Tek Jansen, then you don't watch the Colbert Report on Comedy Central and should therefore be chastised. A few days ago Stephen Colbert introduced Episode 5 of Stephen Colbert Presents: Stephen Colbert's Alpha Squad 7 – Operation: Homecoming's Doorstep: Cat on a Luniharp, a Tek Jansen Adventure. Despite having deinduced the cardioid thrusters on the Bizlarnian Battle Wedge, Tek's only response to being fired upon by the enemy ship is, "Saturn Ion!" Seriously, I've laughed at this clip all day, which means either that I'm working too hard and have gone crazy or Stephen Colbert is a comedy genius.

[Source: ColbertNation]


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    • 1 Second Ago
  • 7 Comments
      BKLYN BOY
      • 8 Years Ago
      The ION was Saturns attemp of a Street Car for the younger generation. They had to get with the program. I have one and I'm having a great time with it. I love my Ion Red Line! If the Ion is ddomed Saturn better replace it with onother that will make the street car magezines. I'm tired of seeing every other car except Saturn on it. I know they can make a car worthy of the compitition.
      • 8 Years Ago
      Steven colbert is amazing :P
      this clip just wasnt THAT funny

      http://www.carchops.com
      • 8 Years Ago
      Saturn Ion, not a great car for sure. Has the highest % of people who would repurchase in it's catagory according to R.L. Polk.The 11th "Greenest" vehicles available in the market. Safe. OnStar standard. Solid factory warranty for 2007 models. You can get a 2007 Ion II with auto/ac/power locks/windows/cruise/am/fm/cd for around $12,500. Not a great car but for the money a solid value. roar
      • 8 Years Ago
      I think Colbert pokes too much fun at a lot of beliefs held by a majority of Autoblog readers, so I'm not surprised there aren't any comments yet.

      Also, I don't think a lot of his viewers even GET most of his satire and sarcasm!
      • 8 Years Ago
      There is no accounting for bad taste.

      Price is no object, one can do far, far better with a 2-year old Civic or Corolla than with any new Saturn, and will save a TON of $ in the long run.

      HP is not an issue either, 175 HP for this lightweight heap of junk is more than enough.

      Esp. if you can drive a STICKSHIFT (less than 5% of all cars bought in the US are sticks, a DISGRACE and a WASTE) and get 3-cylinder economy with 6 cylinder performance (or more) from a modest 4 cylinder.

      Again, more than a few thousand buyers willingly parted with their hard-earned $ to get PONTIAC AZTECS and Ford EDSELS, so whadda you expect...
      • 8 Years Ago
      Wow, that was a dry hump.

      • 8 Years Ago
      Definitely. Working. Too. Hard.