Filed under: Safety
Instant revenge on the parking incapable
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You take every precaution to protect your precious vehicle from the people that just don't understand. Still, despite your best efforts, some deranged idiot parks so close that you can't even see daylight between your door and his. The sense of rage builds until you feel that damage and desecration may not only be necessary, but justified. Next time, just reach in to your glove box (if you can get to it!) and extract some revenge without the pesky, time consuming insurance claims and jail time often associated with the destruction of personal property.
Just head over to www.revengeisyellow.com and place an order for a pad of their hilarious parking "notes".
The messages range from...
"This is just a note to say thank you for parking so close to my car. Next time, please leave a tin can opener so I can get my car out. Do society a favor and take the bus next time!"
Or... "Well done! It must of taken years of practice to be that bad. Maybe if you let your guide dog park next time, you might only take up one space, or at least get it straight."
Don't let the parking illiterate cause you undue stress. Just leave them a "note" to let them know just how much you appreciate their efforts.
[Source: PR Newswire]
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Ryan 1:12PM (11/24/2006)
LOL, that is funny, I might actually do that.
Here is a funny one (now, not then)
My first brand new car was a 2002 Hyundai Elantra, I purchased while I was in college, I liked the piece of mind of a 10/year warranty, and the fact it basically comes loaded I spend $500.00 option for keyless entry and cruise control and that was it. It was brand new and I treated it as if it was an M3 BMW, synthetic oil and all...
Well I had to go to the bank THE DAY I purchased the car and it was in a downtown area where you had to parallel park. I had to pull out $5,000.00 for the down payment and the dealer was nice enough for me to drive my new Elantra over there to get the money...
I parallel parked went in got my 5k TOTALLY EXICTED to smell that new car. As I was walking out some guy with a Ford F-250 with a trailer hitch was leaving and backed directly into my Elantra with 8 MILES on the odo. He saw me running towards him and he tore off, well my poor little Hyundai could not be properly broken in as I engaged in an 80-90mph race to catch up to this guy. He finally pulled over and looked at it, the damage was not bad just a little nick in the bumper but at the time it might as well have been totalled.
The guy actually said "are you sure I did that" by that time the car had 13miles on it. He gave me his insurance info, I went back to Hyundai to give them my 5k and they said "what took ya so long".
Longer story short, they were nice enough to claim the nick as a defect in shipping and Hyundai fixed it free of charge. I called the other guy back and said, well ya lucked out, but be CAREFUL!!!
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nist 1:23PM (11/24/2006)
I'm glad it worked out well for ya Ryan.
It's sad but a lot of those large truck guys are complete dumbasses AND cowards. LOL. You'd think guys driving those trucks would be man enough to take responsibility for their own actions, oh well.
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nra 3:01PM (11/24/2006)
I agree with Large truck guys. Especially ones who drive them in the city. Where the hell do you think you can park with those large behemoth F150s and Silverados? This reminds me of my story of a couple years ago.
One evening in Boston, I had just left a local wateringhole having met a friend for a drink. As I walked out, I heard some commotion and loud metal-against-metal smashing followed by a "Hey, what the hell are you doing?" by a pedestrian. It was dark and I couldn't see that well, but I joked, "..Bet that was my car." As I walk toward my car, a guy says,"Is that your car?" "Yes," i replied. That's when I noticed a pickup truck speeding away and the whole driverside of my Z3 was smashed, bumper-to-bumper. All I could do was stand there in shock and laugh. Long story short, and $5000 later, the pedestrian was a local surgeon walking home after a late shift and noticed the drunk driver trying to parallel park into a Mini sized parking space. Luckily, he and another doctor had seen it all and wrote down the plate number. A hassle, but all fixed afterward. Later, I received a letter from the Police giving me the option to be witness at a court proceeding in which the guy was being sentenced to jailtime. The driver had already had his license suspended when the accident happened, and then left the scene of an accident and DUI. Apparently, they caught up to him later than night. Sweet justice for me, but I hear ya. Parking in a city is a nightmare...especially with yahoo truck drivers.
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Mike 3:35PM (11/24/2006)
Great stories! Keep 'em comming!
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Punisher Bass 4:04PM (11/24/2006)
I need one for people who will park infront of a store and put their flashers on. It's become such a big problem where I live. It drives me crazy that these people think it's ok to park in the middle of the road and block traffic because they are too lazy to grab a spot 15 feet away, and it's all perfectly fine because they turned on their flashers.
Yes your car broke down infront of the entrance and magically fixes itself 10 minutes later when you have finished your shopping.
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Johnny B 4:29PM (11/24/2006)
Ryan, what the hell is wrong with you buddy? I can't believe you let the guy get off that easy after chasing him down...Not even a police report??? Are you an idiot???
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Dave 4:36PM (11/24/2006)
I tried leaving a note on someone's car window once. It was a yellow Nissan Xterra that decided the lines in the parking lot were to be straddled rather than parked between.
It read something to the affect of, "Learn to drive your P.O.S., or sell it to someone who can."
Apparently he saw me leave the note. When I returned to my car a while later, he left a note claiming that the people next to him had parked that way (they hadn't), and there was nowhere else to park (there was; 2.5 spaces over).
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John B 5:01PM (11/24/2006)
It takes a big old piece of Detroit iron to do this but many years ago on Rue St. Catherine in Montreal I was walking back to my car from a night club. Someone had parked a Honda Civic or equivalent small car almost bumper to bumper with an old Chev or Pontiac. The driver of the big car was looking at the problem and decided to solve it the Montreal way - he got in his car and backed it slowly until bumpers touched and then gunned the engine. After pushing the small car back about five or six feet, he calmly drove away. Apparently no one on the busy sidewalk thought this unusual.
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Howard Kerr 5:14PM (11/24/2006)
I need a sign/note for drivers of large SUVs and not so MINI minivans that park next to me at one of the grocery stores I go to. I park about as far away as you can get from the entrance to this store, and still be in the same block, but EVERY time I come out I'm hemmed in on both sides by a huge SUV, pickup truck, or van....even when there are spots closer these guys could have taken. I'm beginning to think my car has some magnetic force that is activated whenever I shut off the ignition switch.
I almost wish that SUVs and vans and large pickups had their own parking lots...as far from store entrances as possible. A sort of "reverse handicapped parking".
as for the post about using flashers as an "excuse" to park in a fire lane....at least folks in your area know what an emergency flasher is and how to use it. People in this area think nothing of leaving a broken down/out-of-gas vehicle sitting in any lane of an intersection with no warning to oncoming traffic that they won't be moving any time soon.
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Paul 5:16PM (11/24/2006)
http://www.parkingstickets.com
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g 5:18PM (11/24/2006)
@8: Don't know about Montreal, but that happens all the time in France (even though they are usually satisfied with 1-2 feet). I guess that's why many french cars came with unpainted bumpers for a long time...
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Brett 5:30PM (11/24/2006)
"It's sad but a lot of those large truck guys are complete dumbasses AND cowards."
I pulled up in the right turn lane next to a big dumbass in a duelie (that looked as though it had never seen rain let alone dirt)in the left turn lane. Just then, the guy moves up and completely blocks my view. I must of given his girlfriend a "look" because next thing you know, he is in my face asking me if I have a problem. I tell him, yes, I do, since I can't see through that giant p*nis you are driving. That got him good and mad so I gun it in reverse and get the heck out of there. No way he could follow me since he had a car behind him. What a dork...
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KKop 6:02PM (11/24/2006)
While some may be 'parking illiterate', leaving a note showing you are illiterate probably won't convince them:
***It must of taken years of practice to be that bad***
Can't believe some of you parking nazi's didn't catch that one.
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Ryan 6:33PM (11/24/2006)
"6. Ryan, what the hell is wrong with you buddy? I can't believe you let the guy get off that easy after chasing him down...Not even a police report??? Are you an idiot???"
-LMAO, You have not been the first one to say that!
But that Elantra was brand new and all I wanted was it fixed, Hyundai was nice enough to do it. I did have the guys insurance info just in case Hyundai would not pull through.
-I'm a true believer in Carma, and she's a bitch!
For example:
Same car (about a month before I traded it in).
I'm now out of college, got offered a job in Vegas, moved from northern California to Vegas. I slept through my alarm clock and had 20min to be to work on time. THIS NEVER happens to me, and of course is on my first day!
Well you know when you get to an intersection and you can turn right on the red if nobody is coming. Well there was a brand new Dodge Intrepid in front of me, I saw him take off, or thought I did. I saw a car coming, so I gunned it in the Elantra....
Well.... The Intrepid never went, so I plowed directly into the back of him (pretty good too). Shocked the airbags did not go off, we pulled over.
The dude gets out of his BRAND NEW Intrepid wearing shorts, flip-flops and a Led Zeppelin shirt (I love mopar people!) we walk around to the area where we thought there would be damage and there was NOTHING except my bent license plate.
He said "ahhh man" I'm tired you have a good one, and just drove off!
I credit that to me being nice to the dude in the f-250 (even though he was a prick) :-)
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That One Person 8:34PM (11/24/2006)
I have had two people back into my Regal a couple times in the last year or so. Yea, I do get mad but hey, it's a 12 year old car.
Anyways, I went to the mall about a month ago with a friend. Unfortunately, I was NOT having a good day. I spotted some idiot's Civic parked in two spots. Well, me being the complete asshole that I am, I have my friend get out and I park so my passenger side mirror is less than an inch from his driver side mirror. I was making a quick trip inside just to pick up a couple shirts and I was out within 20 minutes. I get out to my car and the guy is leaning against my trunk. I asked him if he had a problem and he was like "Yea, how bout you learn to park, asshole". I get a slight smile on my face, look at my car and the spot and look at him "Well, I am in the spot" (which I was). That didnt go over too well with him and he started yelling. I got in the car, pulled up so my friend could get in and drove off...I didnt feel like gettin into a fist fight. Well, the douchebag starts chasing us. And the whole time he is on his cell phone and looked like he was takin down my plate numbers and all that.
But a while ago I purchased some window chalk...so I like to leave smartass comments and tell people to learn how to park...its fun.
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Adam 11:55PM (11/24/2006)
http://iparklikeanidiot.com
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Dirk Dundenburg 9:08AM (11/25/2006)
I had one driver pull their truck into a parking spot beside me at such an angle that the trucks bumper was actually blocking me from pulling out. After quite a few tries I managed to angle out but not before I left a note on the windshield and a nice deep key gouge down the side of the truck. People won't learn from they're stupidity unless it costs them money.
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Andy 4:34PM (11/25/2006)
My grandparents were at a Best Buy. They were pulling out of their parking spot when a Filipina lady ran out with her friends and claimed they hit her. My grandparents are old, but not that old. They didn't feel a bump and didn't see a dent in the lady's car. Once they put up the word "fraud," the lady took off.
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yogesh 12:11PM (11/26/2006)
hey thats either india or pakistan
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Pixel 10:09AM (11/27/2006)
I used to regularly carry a paint marker (you can get them at craft stores) in my glove box, and when someone was parked stupidly, or in a handicapped spot w/o a handicapped tag I would write something on their driver's window.
Usually "I park like a moron" or "I park in handicapped spots" or "I think my mercedes SUV deserves 2 spaces".
Since it is on glass, it can be taken off with a razorblade & windex with no permanent damage, however since it does require those things they're likely to end up driving around for a day or two advertising their stupidity before they get a chance to get it off.
Back when I was driving beaters I used to take great glee in squeezing into the 1/2 spaces left by bad parkers so that they couldn't get into their own cars.
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