TTAC hands out TWAT awards
The votes are in, the judges have, uh, judged and it's official: Democrats control the House.
No, wait. Wrong election. The Truth About Cars readers and staff have chosen the 2006 winners (losers?) of The Worst Automobile Today award.
For those with stomachs too queasy or hearts too weak to read criticism of the domestic auto industry, we recommend you find something else to read. Those TTAC folks get kinda brutal.
Just to keep you in suspense, the list of TWAT winners, with excerpts of TTAC's witty criticism, is after the jump.
Here are the 10 winners for The Truth About Cars TWAT award with excerpts from their comments. Be sure to check out TTAC for the full, venomously funny commentary on each car.
10. Chevrolet Aveo
From the hollow-sounding doors, bargain-basement plastics and skinny tires to the coarse-sounding engine that strains when faced with even the slightest incline, it exudes "cheap" from every ounce of its being.
9. Lincoln Mark LT
Lincoln's badge engineered Ford F-150 is an unholy degradation of the world-famous Lincoln Mark nomenclature.
8. Saab 9-7x
The Saab 9-7X is a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. Moreover, the Saab 9-7X is a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats.
7. Subaru B9 Tribeca
Why Subaru felt the need to enter the SUV segment when it offers such a wide range of superb four wheel-drive sedans and wagons is anybody's guess. Clearly, they shouldn't have bothered.
6. Chevrolet Monte Carlo
The Chevrolet Monte Carlo is a wrong wheel-drive engineering joke from the late '80's.
5. Hummer H2
While the H2 doesn't come with hair plugs, it tells the world that the man behind the wheel has a small penis, or brain, or both.
4. Chrysler Aspen
It's a perfect example of the old adage "Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should."
3. Buick Rendezvous
The Rendezvous embodies everything that's brought GM to the brink: penny pinching, brand dilution and chronic neglect.
2. Jeep Compass
The Compass stomps all over Jeep's reputation as America's purveyor of authentic off-road vehicles.
1. GM Minivans
In terms of dreadful driving dynamics, contemptible aesthetics and torturous ergonomics, no other vehicles sold in America can compete with these ridiculously-named "Crossover Sport Vans."
And, once again, the link to the full story at TTAC is here.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
Paul 4:41PM (11/08/2006)
Suprisingly accurate, In my opinion anyways. Needs more Chevy Impala though, but they've already railed on Chevy enough I suppose.
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Josh E. Oliver 4:41PM (11/08/2006)
The Toyota Yaris, The Honda Fit, the Prius with it's inflated MPG figures.
The Honda Element, The Nissan Titan. I mean c'mon, there are so many other obvious choices rather than the SAAB 9-7x. TTAC should do some homework next time. The 9-7x is not just simply a "trailblazer with an ignition between the seats." The 9-7x features an all new interior, reconfigured suspension in addition to a whole host of other modifications and improvements.
This list is nothing more than TTAC showing their import humping tendencies and GM loathing.
Such a joke.
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laserwizard 4:51PM (11/08/2006)
These awards smell pretty fishy to me. I wonder if the automakers will be in a hurry to snatch up these awards like they do with Motor Trends' Car of the Year Award?
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Ryan 4:57PM (11/08/2006)
I agree with everything except Tribeca.
I own one. Its a great suv. I avg 20.7 mpg.
very nice ride, good looks, and great interior.
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JSFORBES 4:59PM (11/08/2006)
"These awards smell pretty fishy to me." - laserwizard
Comedy gold.
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Jeffer 5:00PM (11/08/2006)
I wonder if Rick Wagoner will accept his TWATs personally?
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Spalind 5:01PM (11/08/2006)
Dude...if you think the Tribeca has "good looks" I'd hate to see what your wife looks like...
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Jayson 5:03PM (11/08/2006)
This is blasphemy. No import should be on this list.
Take the Subie out.
Add the dodge magnum wagon if you have to.
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Jeffer 5:06PM (11/08/2006)
Do you think Rick Wagoner will accept his TWAT's in person?
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Gabro99 5:08PM (11/08/2006)
#5 lol
I really belive this list in 3 years will be moot for GM. They are in the best shape. In three years it would comprise mostly of ford and chrysler. The only GM cars here are old ones. GM is building better products all the time.
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fordman 5:09PM (11/08/2006)
will the feminists mind if an award is called "twat"?
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MuthaTrucker 5:12PM (11/08/2006)
The Turth is everyone at the Truth about cars has a small penis and an even smaller brain. That is without a doubt the most useless site on the internet. Just a bunch of pimple-faced, pimple-assed whinners not smart enough to pack their own school lunches. Worthless......
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MuthaTrucker 5:13PM (11/08/2006)
The Turth is everyone at the Truth about cars has a small penis and an even smaller brain. That is without a doubt the most useless site on the internet. Just a bunch of pimple-faced, pimple-assed whinners not smart enough to pack their own school lunches. Worthless......
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laserwizard 5:14PM (11/08/2006)
Official Twat Awards Statistics, 2006 Edition
The following breakdown are the recipients by Automobile Company of the Golden Twat
First Place: General Motors and Robert Lutz. Six Twats and a Hummer in '06.
Having strived to ensure that GM is the purveyor of mediocre vehicles into the 21st Century, General Motors and Robert Lutz have singlehandedly assembled no less than 6 Twats this year - a record for the award and nearly a harem if the awards show was held in the Middle East.
Rick Wagoner proudly accepted the Golden Twat award because Robert Lutz was to busy playing with his blog to come to the awards show and Rick was beaming with pride. "Now I know how Hugh Heffner feels with some many twats around me!"
Second Place: Dieter does DCX proud. Two Twats and a trip to Aspen.
In an obvious attempt to add some Bavarian cream to this year's award show, Dieter of Sprockets was on hand to ask you if you wanted to pet his monkey, er, his duo of twats that he gladly accepted on behalf of DCX. Dieter was proud that the Compass had folding seats but was even happier that the Aspen could carry more than two twats back to DCX headquarters. You see, Dieter has a thing for Robert Lutz.
Runners up. Not so Conway Twatty. Ford and Subaru.
Both companies were crying in their beer having only earned one Twat. Bill Ford fell over face down in his blue blood virgin martini and Prince Subaru downed Saki after Saki to hide his interest in all the Twats he couldn't get after being shipped off by Robert Lutz in the dissolution of the GM and Subaru partnership.
Prince Subaru noted, "I could have been the 7th Twat in the crown of General Motors. Instead, I'm left with the one that stinks. Thanks, Bob." (loosely translated from Japanese, btw).
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Jason 5:16PM (11/08/2006)
I actually agree with this report! The GM vans are butt ugly. And so is the nose of the Tribeca. The Subaru has been known as unattractive since day one. If you think it's nice looking, you are one of the VERY VERY few. Even Subaru has admitted it's front end looks need a "change."
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john 5:26PM (11/08/2006)
I like the tribeca too. At least its different.
What you recommend, a ford explorer over this? Or a dodge? I think the Tribeca and the Murano are the best statements in design in SUVs.
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Erik 5:27PM (11/08/2006)
#10 - MuthaTrucker - I could not have said it better myself. What a bunch of bitter morons.
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Dave K 5:30PM (11/08/2006)
I'm guessing poster #10 drives a Hummer.
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B 5:31PM (11/08/2006)
I'd like to know what I need to do to get a twat award. Maybe two or three.
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Denis Flaherty 5:45PM (11/08/2006)
DO THOSE ASSES THAT ADMINISTER(?) THESE AWARDS ACTUALLY HAVE JOBS OR ARE THEY JUST PISSED OFF AT THE WORLD 'CAUSE THEY DON'T??
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