If you're smart you'll go in with two of your buddies and snag this hydroponically-grown 300C off eBay, toss some 24s on it, dress up like Bel Biv Devoe and show up at DUB Magazine's doorstep, ready for your "come back" photoshoot. You'll catch them off guard and probably get away with it. Then sing your fool head off, do mall performances and radio gigs, cut a single, record an album and pay your lawyers to keep the real ex-BBD off your ass while raking it in. You can thank me and the 300C later. Buy it now for only a hundred grand.

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