Today Microsoft will announce a new partnership with the Center for Automotive Research, with which it will conduct surveys examining auto industry trends. One of the so-called "hot button" issues is automakers' desire to cut the $22 billion they spend yearly on warranties. Microsoft already has a monopoly on automotive factory floor control software, and their MSN Auto site is expanding more quickly than Gates' brain, which will soon envelop Kansas, amoeba-style. MS recently inserted their software into cars themselves after signing on to provide telematics systems for Fiat. Their interest in automotive trends may be a signal that they are gauging the market interest in a possible Microsoft-branded vehicle. Either that or it's all an elaborate sleight-of-hand routine meant to distract us from an even more sinister possibility, that MS cyborgs have just left Redmond and will arrive in your small, sleepy town by sundown, where they will have one thing on their collective mind: eatin' brains.